99% of people on FetLife are as vanilla as a plain cupcake…
Do you spend compulsive amounts of time online pretending you have a sexual fetish — scrolling through pages, lurking in forums, lost in chatrooms — yet you’ve never actually done it? Or maybe you have experienced it, but it was with someone you had to pay, leaving you with that hollow, echoing “What if?” wondering what the hell just happened.
Let me break it to you: that’s not a fetish. That’s curiosity.
A true fetish isn’t some digital daydream or a one-off, transactional encounter. A fetish is a ritual. It’s an experience you dive into again and again. It’s in the muscle memory of your body, a part of your rhythm, and it doesn’t exist on a screen or come with an invoice. A fetish becomes your identity, your own kind of spirituality. It’s a practice you live with, share with people who aren’t paid, who choose to meet you in the raw reality of it, again and again.
So if you’re looking for a fetish, define it. Otherwise, all you’re doing is borrowing someone else’s.
I met this guy who claimed he had a thing for pantyhose, yet didn’t even own a single pair. He swore he was submissive, but he’d talk a big game, always judging me, criticizing every little thing. That’s not submissive — that’s just delusional. I gave him a chance, but it didn’t take long to realize he was all talk, no substance.
Then there was this other guy — his fantasy was all about chloroform and getting fucked, deep into full-on medical play. Like, scalpel-in-hand, twisted roleplay kind of thing. So I said, “Alright, let’s take this to the edge. We’ll go somewhere lawless, like the Antarctic, set up a table, and I’ll go full Dexter on you.” And he’s all, “Oh no, I can’t, I just… can’t.”
And then there was the guy who wanted a full-on gender transformation — said he wanted to become some kind of alien. So I said, “Alright, let’s start by transitioning your sexual preferences.” And he’s like, “Nooo, I can’t. I have to stay a man for my wife.”
The list goes on and on. The real issue? A bunch of keyboard warriors too scared to show up in real life. They dream about connection, about building the kind of trust that lets you explore and go deep — but they can’t even hold down a relationship. How are you ever going to explore your sexuality if you can’t handle the basics?
99% of people on here are as Vanilla as a cupcake with sprinkles.
Doc
