“Anchoring Sexual Feel Good”

They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. love)
I’ve got the cure you’re thinkin’ of (calling Dr. love)

And even though I’m full of sin
In the end you’ll let me in

One way you can guide your romantic or sexual feelings is through anchors — a stimulus/trigger that elicits a particular emotional response within us. These anchors can be intentional or accidental, obvious or subtle.

You might liken anchoring (as with much of NLP) to steering a naturally occurring phenomenon: the formation of associations and how these connections can trigger certain emotional states.

For instance, you may link a specific perfume or cologne scent with a romantic partner due to shared intimate experiences. There is no inherent connection between the scent and your partner, except for the fact that you’ve experienced them simultaneously.

Utilizing anchors allows you to make this emotional trigger portable, such as touching a piece of jewelry gifted by your partner or recalling a special romantic moment. This way, you can put yourself in desired emotional states when needed.

Words can often serve as strong anchors. However, in a conversation, our partner may react emotionally in a way we didn’t anticipate due to their unique understanding and experiences associated with certain words. Ideally, we should adjust our choice of words based on our partner’s actual response rather than our prediction of their reaction.

Suggested Exercise:

Consider someone who exudes romantic or sexual allure. What emotional states do they exhibit?

Plan for a date you’re going to attend. Visualize a key moment of the date and

a) play a mental movie of how it unfolds. Choose a word to describe it.

b) Choose three relevant emotional states you want to tap into during the date.

c) Imagine the date with you being able to access those states. Choose a word to describe it. What in the imagined date — however minor or significant — has changed?

Imagine you’re about to have an intimate moment with your partner. What emotional states is your partner likely to be in at the start? List 3 or 4. What states would you like them to be in at the end?

Visualize someone feeling emotionally distant or detached. It might be overwhelming for them to transition directly to a passionate state. What gradual sequence of emotional states could you guide them through to eventually move from detachment to curiosity, to interest, to affection, and finally, to passion?

Take one of your hands. Touch your thumb. As you do so, think of a romantic or intimate memory. Replay a 10-second scene from that memory, focusing on what you saw, heard, and felt as you squeeze your thumb. Now move to the next finger and recall another romantic memory, focusing again on the sensory experiences. Squeeze the finger and continue with the next one until you’ve associated a memory with each finger on that hand.

Repeat the last exercise, but this time, use daily experiences or moments of connection with your partner that you appreciate.