“Breadcrumbers: The Psychology Behind It And What You Can Do Today To Stop Flakes”
Breadcrumbing refers to a pattern of behavior in which someone intermittently shows interest or gives you just enough attention to keep you engaged but without any real commitment or investment.
In my own personal journey, I have encountered the frustrating and disheartening experience of being breadcrumbed. Time and time again, I found myself entangled in situations where individuals would weave a web of empty promises and superficial intentions, leaving me feeling disillusioned and emotionally drained.
It was a cycle of hope followed by disappointment, as these individuals would tell me anything they thought I wanted to hear, only to vanish when it came to genuine commitment.
The intentions behind why a ‘breadcrumber’ may want you to doubt yourself can vary depending on the individual and their motivations. Here are a few possible reasons.
Some breadcrumbers thrive on having power and control over others. By fostering self-doubt, they aim to maintain a position of dominance and manipulate your emotions, making you more dependent on their attention and validation.
Breadcrumbers may use self-doubt as a tactic to keep you emotionally invested and engaged in the relationship. By making you question your worth, they create an imbalance of power, making it easier for them to maintain control and keep you hooked.
In some cases, they themselves may be insecure or have low self-esteem. By instilling self-doubt in others, they may feel a temporary sense of superiority or validation, momentarily boosting their own fragile self-confidence.
Breadcrumbers may fear commitment or genuine emotional intimacy. By fostering self-doubt in you, they create a dynamic where the focus remains on your insecurities, deflecting attention away from their own inability or unwillingness to fully commit.
And ultimately, they struggle with emotional availability and vulnerability. By making you doubt yourself, they create a barrier that prevents deeper emotional connections from forming, allowing them to maintain emotional distance.
Seeking revenge or trying to get even with a breadcrumber may not be the most constructive approach to take. Even though, we all think about it. If we could get revenge how would we?
Distance yourself from the breadcrumber by cutting off contact and removing them from your life. This includes blocking them on social media and deleting their contact information. Maintaining distance is essential for your emotional well-being. Take time to reflect on the experience and identify any patterns or red flags you may have missed.
The breadcrumber naturally “fractionates.” And this is why it’s important to dislodge yourself from these dynmanics before they go array.
Fractionation is a psychological technique that is sometimes used in dating and seduction. It involves a series of steps designed to create an emotional rollercoaster for the person being targeted, with the aim of building a deep connection and increasing attraction. The process typically involves alternating between positive and negative experiences, creating a sense of uncertainty and emotional intensity.
One of those is “breadcrumbing.” Always getting the receiver into a sense of self-doubt. So when they do “come around” they validate the person and then cycle happens again. Often keeping the person locked tight into an endless cycle of hope and loss.
While it may take time, strive to forgive yourself for falling for their personality disorder. Forgiving does not mean condoning their behavior but rather freeing yourself from the burden of holding onto resentment and anger. Letting go allows you to move forward with a lighter heart.
