“Giving Women What They Want To Hear…Stop it Already!”

Dr. Kali DuBois
4 min readMay 13, 2023

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In the realm of dating and relationships, individuals sometimes resort to employing persuasive tactics to appeal to their romantic interests. This can involve tailoring their words to align with what women desire to hear.

While not all instances of tailoring are dishonest, it is important to recognize the potential pitfalls and manipulation that can arise from giving women what they want to hear. In this article, we will explore this phenomenon and its impact on interpersonal dynamics.

Before we delve into the commonly used tactics, let me share with you a story about Ethan and Lily. It serves as a cautionary tale, shedding light on the effects of manipulative behavior in relationships.

Ethan was a charming and persuasive man who possessed a talent for tailoring his words to fit the desires of his romantic interests. Lily, an unsuspecting woman seeking love and connection, fell under his spell. Ethan recognized that Lily yearned for commitment and a family, so he crafted a tailored response that mirrored her aspirations.

With calculated sincerity, Ethan painted a vivid picture of their future together. He spoke of marriage, children, and a life filled with love and stability. Lily was captivated by his words, her heart opening up to the possibilities he presented. Little did she know that Ethan’s intentions were far from genuine.

As time went on, the cracks in Ethan’s facade began to show. He grew distant and avoided discussions about their shared dreams. Lily was left confused and hurt, struggling to understand what had changed. It became clear that Ethan’s tailored response was nothing more than a means to secure Lily’s affection, regardless of his true intentions.

Lily’s heartbreak became a catalyst for self-reflection and growth. She realized the importance of being cautious with the words spoken by others and the value of seeking authenticity in relationships. The experience taught her to be wary of tailored responses and to prioritize genuine connections based on trust and mutual understanding.

The story of Ethan and Lily highlights the devastating impact of manipulative tactics used in relationships. It serves as a reminder to be vigilant, to recognize when someone’s words and actions do not align, and to value honesty and open communication above all else.

Tailoring Responses

One tactic men may employ is tailoring their responses to align with women’s desires and preferences. They carefully choose their words and expressions to convey a shared interest in hobbies, values, and future aspirations. By mirroring women’s desires, they create a sense of connection and compatibility, ultimately influencing women’s perception of the relationship’s potential. While genuine shared interests are a positive aspect of relationships, it is crucial to distinguish between authentic compatibility and manipulative adaptation.

False Assurances

Men may offer false assurances to provide a sense of security and reassurance. They may make promises of commitment, long-term intentions, or even marriage, knowing that these statements are likely to resonate with women seeking stability and emotional connection. These false assurances can create a false sense of trust and vulnerability, leading women to invest emotionally in the relationship based on false premises.

Concealing Red Flags

In an attempt to create an appealing image, men may intentionally conceal red flags or negative aspects of their personalities or behaviors. They may downplay or hide their flaws, past relationship issues, or any other traits that might raise concerns or doubts. By focusing on presenting their best selves, they manipulate women’s perceptions and potentially bypass important factors that could impact the future of the relationship.

Overpromising and Underdelivering

Some men may resort to overpromising to build anticipation and excitement. They may create grand plans, envisioning a future filled with extravagant experiences and gestures, captivating women’s imagination and desire for a fulfilling relationship. However, when it comes to actually following through on these promises, they may fall short, leaving women disappointed and disillusioned.

Concealing Relationship Status

Another deceitful tactic is the deliberate concealment of one’s true relationship status. Men may withhold information about being in a committed relationship or intentionally mislead women into believing they are single and available. By hiding their existing partnerships, they manipulate trust and vulnerability to engage in sexual encounters outside of their committed relationships. This betrayal of trust can have significant emotional and psychological consequences for the women involved.

While tailoring responses to align with women’s desires can create initial attraction and connection, it is essential to navigate this territory with caution. Genuine relationships thrive on authenticity, trust, and open communication. It is crucial for both men and women to be aware of the potential pitfalls of giving women what they want to hear, ensuring that relationships are built on a foundation of honesty and mutual understanding.

By fostering genuine connections based on shared values and true compatibility, individuals can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

To particularly note why men do this. The belief that one’s time is more valuable than others’ can be indicative of certain personality traits or patterns of thinking rather than a specific mental health disorder.

In the case of Ethan’s behavior, it is characterized by him tailoring responses to manipulate and deceive others, this may indicate traits associated with certain personality disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder. These disorders are characterized by a lack of empathy, a pattern of manipulating others for personal gain, and an inflated sense of self-importance.

The root cause of Ethan’s behavior could stem from various factors, including past experiences that shaped his worldview and beliefs about relationships. He may have deep-seated insecurities, which he compensates for by gaining control and power over others through manipulation. It is possible that Ethan struggles with forming genuine connections and relies on tailored responses to create a false sense of intimacy and vulnerability.

It is important to remember that mental health is a complex and nuanced topic, and individual experiences can vary greatly.

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Dr. Kali DuBois
Dr. Kali DuBois

Written by Dr. Kali DuBois

Brainwashedslut.com - I own a venue in San Francisco that puts on comedy and stage hypnosis shows. I'm a PhD in psychology and I write books on sex.

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