Lost Love And His Consistent Battle With His Fantasies
Earlier this year, I offered a man I cared for a way into my life. I opened the door, not just to me, but to a world of trust, intimacy, and possibility. And he stopped communicating with me. The silence was deafening, and it left me with two potential truths. Either he was ashamed, or he simply didn’t want me. Both stung, but the root of his silence likely went deeper than me.
What would it mean for him to have a relationship with someone like me? Someone who lives unapologetically, as a sex educator, a public figure, someone who delves into the depths of taboo topics and political realities most people won’t even whisper about. A woman unafraid to live authentically, fully immersed in the lifestyle of kink and open expression. What would it mean for him to embrace me, with all my openness and vulnerability, when he was still running from his own?
His shame wasn’t about me; it was about him. It reflected his inability to face his desires, to look them in the eye and claim them as his own. He saw me as a mirror — one that revealed the parts of himself he was too afraid to acknowledge. How could he ever love me when he couldn’t even love himself?
This isn’t just his story. It’s a common narrative, especially for those living with suppressed desires and years of societal conditioning. Men who want to explore their identities, transform their roles, or embrace facets of themselves deemed “unacceptable” by the world around them are often paralyzed by shame. They hide behind screens, behind personas, and behind silence. They fear what it would mean to live those desires in the real world.
If you’re reading this and resonating, let me tell you: living your desires on the outside isn’t just possible — it’s natural. The shame you feel? The fear of rejection or stigma? Those are not your truths. They’re scripts written by a society that profits from your suppression. The good news is that those scripts can be rewritten.
Imagine a life where you no longer feel the weight of shame, where your desires are not only accepted but celebrated. A life where you don’t need to hide behind screens or masks, where you can explore intimacy, connection, and pleasure on your terms. That life begins with reprogramming the mind — removing the barriers and freeing yourself from the chains of conditioning.
You are not broken. You are not defunct. And you do not have to live in fear. Your desires are part of you, and they are valid.
