Marriage, Technology, and Pornography: Why Millennials and Gen Z Don’t Share Your Values

Marriage and sacred unions were once cornerstones of society, cherished and upheld as lifelong commitments. For those born in the 70s and 80s, these values were passed down from parents, observed in society, and reinforced by cultural norms. But times have changed, and so have the values tied to relationships, commitment, and intimacy. If you were born in those decades, you were shaped by the expectations of your era. Updating your values as the world evolves requires deliberate thought, but many find it difficult to reconcile modern trends with deeply ingrained beliefs.

For those born after 2000, a dramatically different world shaped their values. They grew up in an age of unprecedented access to technology, instant information, and a shifting social landscape. The influences that once shaped marriage and morality are no longer as relevant, especially in a world where single-parent homes, technology, and pornography have become a norm.

Growing Up in a Technological Era

One of the defining features of Millennials (those born from 1981–1996) and Gen Z (born after 1996) is their intimate relationship with technology. Unlike the 70s and 80s, when televisions were the primary source of information and entertainment, these generations have been raised on a constant diet of smartphones, social media, and instant access to the internet.

This technological immersion has affected almost every aspect of their lives, including how they perceive relationships. Studies show that by the time Gen Z reached their teenage years, they had already spent much of their lives connected to the internet. The ease with which they can access media has transformed how they view human connections — relationships are often mediated through apps, messaging platforms, and online communities. Communication is instant, leading to both connection and isolation, as they are constantly plugged into a digital world.

The Porn Epidemic: Early Exposure and Its Impact

A crucial aspect of this technological world is the ease of access to pornography. Unlike older generations who may have had limited or delayed exposure to explicit material, Millennials and Gen Z were thrust into an environment where online pornography was just a click away. A staggering amount of young people are exposed to porn before they’ve even had any formal education on sex, relationships, or consent.

For example, research from the UK Council for Child Internet Safety showed that boys aged 11–16 had already encountered pornography, often by accident. A 2020 study in the Journal of Adolescent Health revealed that 84% of teenage boys and 57% of teenage girls have seen pornography online by the time they are teenagers. This means that their first experiences with sex are not shaped by relationships, intimacy, or even conversations with adults — it’s shaped by what they find online.

Pornography’s impact on this generation has been profound. It has been linked to unrealistic views of sex and relationships, reinforcing ideas of performance rather than emotional intimacy. As a result, it has become more difficult to build lasting relationships based on mutual trust and understanding. With immediate gratification and instant connections so easily accessible, younger generations often approach sex and relationships with a mindset far different from previous generations.

Changing Family Structures

In addition to the influence of technology and pornography, many Millennials and Gen Zers grew up in non-traditional family structures. The image of a two-parent household is no longer the norm. With divorce rates climbing and an increasing number of children born to single parents, the family unit for these generations looks different.

In 2020, about 40% of children in the U.S. were born to unmarried parents, and 25% of children were living in single-parent homes. These statistics show that growing up in a traditional family is no longer the default for many young people. This shift has redefined what “normal” looks like and has changed how they perceive marriage. Many of them no longer see marriage as an obligatory part of life but as one of many lifestyle choices. For some, it’s an option they may or may not pursue, depending on their personal values, career goals, and sense of independence.

Marriage and Commitment Redefined

As a result of these factors, marriage has taken on a different meaning for Millennials and Gen Z. Where older generations might have viewed marriage as a lifelong commitment or a sacred union, younger generations are more likely to see it as a choice that should only be made if it serves their personal happiness and fulfillment. For many, cohabitation, casual relationships, and even long-term partnerships without marriage have become more common and acceptable.

The Pew Research Center reports that in 2019, only 38% of U.S. adults aged 25–34 were married, compared to 64% in 1980. This reflects a broader trend of delaying marriage or choosing not to marry at all. Many young people prioritize personal growth, career success, and experiences over traditional markers of adulthood like marriage. They also place more importance on emotional fulfillment in relationships, often leaving marriages or partnerships that no longer serve their sense of purpose or happiness.

Social Media and the Instant Validation Culture

In addition to redefining marriage and relationships, social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat have also influenced younger generations’ views on intimacy and commitment. Social media often promotes a highly curated view of relationships, with couples posting idealized moments of happiness. This creates unrealistic expectations for how relationships should look, often leading to feelings of inadequacy or frustration.

On the flip side, social media has also made relationships more disposable. With dating apps and instant messaging, connections can be made — and broken — instantly. The idea of working through challenges in a long-term relationship often takes a backseat to the ease of swiping to find someone new.

Why Older Values Won’t Work on New Generations

Given these shifts in family structure, access to technology, and exposure to explicit content, it’s clear that attempts to impose older values on younger generations will likely fall flat. The world they grew up in is fundamentally different from that of the 70s and 80s. Morality and values are not static, and those that were shaped decades ago may not be relevant or effective in guiding Millennials and Gen Zers.

While older generations might hold fast to the idea of marriage as a sacred union and see long-term commitment as the foundation of a meaningful life, younger generations are operating in a new reality. This reality is driven by technology, personal freedom, and a shifting sense of what constitutes a “normal” relationship. To impose outdated values on them is not only ineffective — it’s disconnected from the world they’ve known.

Values evolve with time and societal shifts, and the newer generations are a exemplifying this. The world they grew up in has been shaped by technology, social media, and a different understanding of relationships and family dynamics. Attempts to impose morality or values based on an older framework will not work unless they are adapted to the realities of the digital age, where instant access to information, connection, and gratification has forever changed how younger generations approach love, intimacy, and commitment.