My Journey Through Unusual Relationships and Self-Discovery

I’ve always been attracted to eccentrics. Recently, I let go of one who was more into hypnosis than into me. He can go do that with his hand and a tape deck; I don’t need to even be present. Reflecting on my past relationships, I’ve noticed a pattern: many of them were entrepreneurs and eccentrics.

My ex (The one I was foolish enough to marry — marriage is an institution, and if that doesn’t sound like a madhouse, I don’t know what does), for example, was a highly skilled engineer who invented numerous things. He had the odd habit of peeing in sinks to conserve water, went on a diet consisting solely of yucca root, and even drugged people with what he claimed were medicinal substances. He also believed in aliens.

Another memorable ex was an innovative founder who always smelled like chicken and resembled Julio Iglesias. I was madly in love with him but he was a bitch.

For a few years, I was with a Persian founder of a ballistics company who refused to wear shoes, even in diners. He would get irate and scream obscenities when refused service, waiting in his Tesla while I got his food to go. Despite being worth millions on paper, he was extremely cheap, always seeking free things, and frequenting thrift stores and bargain markets. He would scour the Craigslist Free section and then call me in the middle of the night to excitedly share his “glorious” finds. For my birthday, he gave me a sketch and a leftover beer from a friend’s meeting.

Given my lack of luck in the relationship department, I’ve avoided dating for a long time. I realized I need to figure out what I truly want before pursuing another relationship. I know I’m not a gift from God, but I’d say I’m pretty decent for being middle-aged. So, I asked myself the magical questions: What do I want? What behaviors do I value? How do I want to be treated? Can I move past rigid and fixed beliefs to allow myself more flexibility?

These questions are essential for anyone reflecting on their relationships. We all evolve, and so do our criteria for that special someone. Best of luck, and perhaps these elicitation questions can help you as they did me.