Notes on my Subject 4/30/24
Doctors typically keep patient notes confidential, but because many individuals seldom have the opportunity to delve into the intricacies of my profession, I’ve chosen to offer you a glimpse into my world by sharing some insider insights.
“To Love or to Feel Pain”
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I sensed a wave of anger emanating from him. Just moments ago, I had concluded a session of employing embedded commands and inducing a fractionated state within him.
He finds the emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows uncomfortable.
It’s apparent that he possesses a low tolerance for emotional distress, often mirroring it back to me with a precision that exceeds my own.
His intellect surpasses mine, fortified by years of experience.
His primary sensory mode is auditory digital, and his attachment style fluctuates depending on his mood. Like many men of his age, he has encountered more hardships than triumphs in his interactions with women. This observation surfaced as we delved into discussions about his past relationships.
Can an operator develop genuine affection for their subject? The answer is affirmative; numerous operators have found themselves bound in sexual relationship to their targets, as evidenced in the realm of romantizied spycraft that we all have watched over the years.
Do I feel for him? Yes. However, the truth remains that our acquaintance is still in its infancy.
Yet, despite my professional training, we are human, prone to moments of vulnerability.
At times, we find ourselves compelled to grant access to our inner sanctum, forging bonds of trust that facilitate profound programming.
He insists that I require it, projecting his desires onto me. However, I contest this notion; what I truly desire is him. The right psychological behaviors had to be in place for this connection to flourish. It couldn’t have been just anyone.
Yet, for this connection to flourish, he must reciprocate and permit me entry into his inner world. This takes time.
Currently, he maintains a superficial level of connection, yet I am optimistic that as time progresses and trust deepens, he will grant me access to explore the depths of his psyche. However, it is imperative that we discern his past experiences and present them in contrast to our current interactions. Failure to do so may lead him to categorize our encounters based on similarities to his past, thus projecting overlays onto our new and distinct in-person programming sessions.
