Pseudo Boyfriends And Holidays At Rich’s
It was Christmas, and I was sprawled out on Rich’s couch like I owned the place, blanket draped over me, totally in my element. The tree lights were doing their thing, making the room feel cozy, and Rich, sitting in his armchair, was scrolling through his phone like the sassy king he is.
I had my phone on speaker, chatting with my penpal. This guy’s voice? Unreal. Like, “should be narrating a movie trailer” kind of unreal. Smooth, deep, and always steady, like he had all the answers. Honestly, I only talked to him because of his voice. It was that good.
Rich looked up, his face somewhere between judgmental and amused. “Can you not have him on speaker?” he said, giving me his classic you’re so extra look.
“Why?” I said, not even moving. “You jealous of my pseudo-boyfriend?”
Rich snorted so loud I thought he was going to spill his drink. “Pseudo-boyfriend? Please. You and your penpals. What is it with you and random guys over the phone?”
“Yeah…” I said, stretching out my legs even more. I wasn’t about to argue with him.
From the phone, my penpal chuckled, his voice like butter melting into pancakes. “Rich sounds like a lot of fun,” he said, clearly enjoying the chaos.
“Oh, I’m a delight,” Rich shot back, fully leaning into it. “But listening to my best friend swoon over a guy she’s never met? On my sofa? It’s getting a little old.”
“Don’t worry,” I said to my penpal, grinning at Rich. “He’s totally gay, so it’s all good.”
“Completely gay,” Rich said, raising his glass of mulled wine like he was toasting the Queen. “But even I can’t handle this Hallmark romance you’re playing out. Turn him off speaker, for my sake.”
“Fine, fine,” I said, hitting the button. “Better?”
“Much,” Rich said, dramatically sighing and going back to his phone, but not before giving me another one of those you’re so weird looks.
I kept chatting with my penpal, his voice low and perfect, even without the speaker. Rich just shook his head and muttered something about my taste in men. Whatever. It was Christmas, and sometimes, you just have to lean into the ridiculousness.
