Sex & Love Frame Test — Are You Winning or Losing At Love?

Answer each question honestly. At the end, tally your results to see which frame you operate from.

1. When your partner is happy in the relationship, do you feel…

a) Like they might have more power over you now.
b) Happy because their happiness fuels the connection.
c) Curious about how this dynamic will evolve further.

2. If someone you desire isn’t interested in you, do you…

a) Feel like you lost and need to regain control somehow.
b) Accept it and move on, knowing the right fit exists.
c) Analyze what you can learn from the experience to refine your approach.

3. During sex, do you focus more on…

a) Making sure you’re the one leading or getting what you want.
b) Mutual pleasure and deepening the experience together.
c) Experimenting with different dynamics to see what creates the most intensity.

4. When your partner desires someone else, do you…

a) Feel threatened and try to assert dominance.
b) Trust that your bond is strong enough to navigate attraction.
c) See it as a chance to explore desire, psychology, or even open possibilities.

5. In an argument with a partner, do you…

a) Try to win and make your point dominant.
b) Work toward a resolution that feels right for both.
c) Use it as a chance to understand deeper layers of their psychology.

6. When someone becomes deeply attached to you, do you…

a) Worry about maintaining control in the dynamic.
b) Feel fulfilled knowing you created something valuable together.
c) Observe the power of the attachment and how it could be further shaped.

Results:

Mostly A’s → Win-Lose Frame
You see relationships and sex as a power struggle where someone gains control and the other loses. This can create tension, short-term excitement, or even toxicity.

Mostly B’s → Win-Win Frame
You approach love and sex as a mutual exchange where both people should feel satisfied and valued. Your mindset is about connection, trust, and shared pleasure.

Mostly C’s → Evolutionary Frame
You see love and sex as a dynamic, shifting process — one that’s not just about pleasure or power but about transformation. You likely enjoy psychological play, mind control, or deep behavioral shifts in relationships.

What This Means

• If you’re in a win-lose frame, you might struggle with control, fear, or ego battles in intimacy.
• If you’re in a win-win frame, you likely build strong, stable connections but might not push the limits of desire as much.
• If you’re in an evolutionary frame, you understand desire as something that can be cultivated, shaped, and even weaponized in a way that’s fascinating rather than threatening.

What’s Next?

If you’re leaning toward the win-lose frame, ask yourself:

• Am I afraid of losing power in intimacy?
• What if control and surrender weren’t enemies but dance partners?

If you’re in the win-win frame, consider:

• Where can I push the boundaries of pleasure and control without losing balance?
• What psychological techniques could deepen the intensity of connection?

If you’re in the evolutionary frame, keep refining:

• How can I experiment with new forms of attraction, submission, or control?
• What triggers deeper emotional, psychological, or erotic imprinting in a partner?

This test isn’t just about relationships — it’s a window into how you play the game of desire. Curious to explore deeper? 😉