Strip Clubs as Spiritual Retreats: The Absurdity of the Neo-Goddess Movement

Now, don’t get me wrong — prostitution is the oldest profession. And clearly I’m laughing at life here…But dressing it up in goddess robes, pretending it’s part of some holy journey to enlightenment? That’s not very goddess-like, is it? Aphrodite never charged Zeus a buck-fifty for a quickie behind the temple.

The truth is, what we’re currently seeing is less about worshiping divinity and more about dodging the law under the guise of “sacred energy work.” What’s next? A “blowjob chakra cleanse”? Please.

It’s like trying to pass off a strip club as a spiritual retreat because they burn some incense before the lap dances start.

Instead of skirting around the law with a headband and a dreamcatcher, how about prostitutes lobby for actual legal reform?

Look, I can whine all I want, but here’s the deal: almost 15 years ago, the SWAT team banged down the door of The Phoenix Goddess Temple. My ex-husband and I — by some cosmic stroke of luck or divine intervention — weren’t there.

I had this sudden urge to pack up and move three states over to dive deeper into martial arts training.

Meanwhile, good ol’ Sheriff Joe decided it was time for those hookers in ‘gauze and flowers in their hair’ to get schooled. Guess they thought they could hide behind their “sacred feminine energy” long enough to dodge the law. Spoiler alert: they couldn’t.

And good old Mother Goddess — when she wasn’t too busy trafficking poor souls under the guise of “empowerment” — ended up spending the next few years in federal prison. Guess the divine feminine couldn’t quite talk her way out of that one.

So it always cracks me up when someone says the word “Goddess,” because all I can picture is a bunch of neo-twats (opps, I mean neo-tantra) draped in gauze, counting singles like it’s sacred work. That’s the vivid image burned into my brain.

If sex workers want to push for real legal change, there are tangible steps they can take in states like California and Arizona, where there’s already momentum for decriminalization.

California is a prime battleground for decriminalizing sex work, and there are already some inroads being made.

• Senate Bill 357: In 2022, California passed SB 357, which repealed loitering laws that targeted sex workers for “intent to engage in prostitution.” This is a huge step forward, as those laws disproportionately impacted marginalized groups. But the full decriminalization of sex work is still on the horizon.
• Organize and Advocate for Statewide Decriminalization: Advocates and sex workers need to push lawmakers to introduce and pass a comprehensive decriminalization bill, which would remove criminal penalties for consensual adult sex work. There’s a lot of progressive support in California, so this could gain traction.
• Focus on Human Rights and Labor Protections: In California, sex work advocacy groups like SWOP (Sex Workers Outreach Project) and DecrimCA are working to shift the conversation to human rights, worker safety, and health. Sex workers should align with these efforts, focusing on labor protections similar to those for other industries. This includes setting health and safety regulations, ensuring access to medical care, and establishing mechanisms for reporting abuse without fear of arrest.

Arizona is more conservative than California, so the approach needs to be different, focusing more on personal liberties and reducing law enforcement costs.

• Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Legacy: Arizona has a notorious history with sex work enforcement, exemplified by Arpaio’s harsh policies. But recent political shifts show that change is possible. Progressive groups in Phoenix and Tucson have been advocating for criminal justice reform, including changes in how prostitution is handled.
• Argue for Cost Savings and Criminal Justice Reform: Decriminalization reduces the burden on law enforcement, courts, and prisons. Arizona, like other states, is dealing with a bloated criminal justice system. Advocates can make a strong case for decriminalization as a way to save taxpayer dollars and focus law enforcement on more serious crimes.
• Push for Local-Level Change: Instead of starting at the state level, advocates in Arizona can focus on local city councils in progressive areas like Tucson and Phoenix, where there is more support for reforms. This can be a grassroots strategy — decriminalize on a local level first and then build up momentum for statewide change.
• Highlight the Public Health Angle: Advocates in Arizona can make a strong case by focusing on public health outcomes. Decriminalization would improve access to healthcare for sex workers, help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections, and reduce violence by taking the industry out of the shadows.

Steps for Change in Arizona:

• Start with city-level decriminalization efforts, building coalitions in progressive areas.
• Lobby local politicians and emphasize the cost-saving and criminal justice reform aspects.
• Partner with human rights organizations to strengthen the argument for decriminalization as a civil liberties issue.
• Highlight public health studies from countries or regions where decriminalization has improved health outcomes for both sex workers and the public.