Strong Women and Their Sexuality Are More Than Just Labels Like Dom or Femme Fatale (Labels Invented by Men for Them to Jerk Off To)..

Let’s talk about societal narratives for a moment, where women are often cast in roles scripted long before they could speak their lines, a pressing need emerges to dismantle the archetypes that bind them. Hollywood has been particularly adept at crafting and perpetuating these stereotypes — Dom, Lolita, Femme Fatale — labels that titillate and intrigue, designed more for male consumption NOT female empowerment.

Any man who says he gets turned on by a dominatrix because he believes in “female empowerment” is just a poser, a fraud cloaked in faux progressiveness. It’s like a man masquerading as a lesbian to score points — it’s a complete con. He’s really just a pathetic chump wrestling with his own gender inadequacies, too embarrassed to voice what he wants because deep down, he despises who he truly is.

So, these labels are really just fodder for fantasies; they’re just a way for men to organize their adult entertainment on the shelf.

Historically, these labels have been applied with a broad brush, simplifying the vast, intricate nature of female sexuality into easily digestible characters. These characters are often seen through a lens of male fantasy, where the strong, sexually autonomous woman must also be dangerous, manipulative, or tragically flawed.

This skewed portrayal serves not just as entertainment but as a subtle guide on how women should shape their sexual identities to cater to male desires.

This is where it get sicks, the reality is starkly different and infinitely richer. Strong women — their ethos, their paths, and their sexuality — are not uniform. They encompass a breadth of experiences as diverse as humanity itself. Yet, we see these pervasive labels misused and distorted.

Consider a young Black woman who organizes sex parties but steers clear of porn.

[It’s worth mentioning: I saw this in what’s often called the kinkiest city in the world.]

She’s not engaging sexually at these events; instead, she’s snapping selfies, crafting a persona that claims she was involved when, in reality, she wasn’t.

This is what I’m getting at: cultural narratives pressure these women to adopt facades, selling fantasies to men rather than embodying their true selves.

They struggle to fully embrace these roles because, firstly, they are concoctions of male fantasy and, secondly, societal and biological pressures nudge them towards monogamy for the sake of stability and child-rearing.

This disconnect between portrayal and reality reveals a deeper issue of authenticity in how women’s sexuality is represented and understood.

This is why you don’t see genuine strong women taking charge of their sexual narratives. And when they do, they certainly aren’t conforming to the labels men assign to them.

And they’re definitely not the ones posting explicit images on social media; they’re too busy actively shaping their futures and achieving their goals. Consider a human trafficking attorney I know. Eager to work at an NGO, she walked straight in and asked, “Do you have a legal team?” When they answered “no,” she swiftly wrote a grant, obtained the funds, and returned to announce, “Now you do.” She’s now the president of a global organization because she knew what she wanted and pursued it relentlessly.

So, as a woman, what exactly are you doing?

As someone who has been speaking in this field for many years, I’m urging you to stop conforming to the sexual narratives dictated by men. Take control of the narrative; give them only what you choose to give. You call the shots. It’s truly alarming how much trauma occurs because women let men dictate the terms of their sexuality. No. Men should stay out of it, focusing on their own pursuits.

The issue at hand is not just the labels themselves but the systemic need to label. Why must a woman’s sexual strength be classified as either a threat or a fantasy? This compulsion to define, to limit, to control is a reflection of a society still uncomfortable with women who command their destinies and their desires.