The Brutal Truth About Your “Self-Destructive Sexuality”

All I hear are pity partys.

Stop lying to yourself.

You don’t suck dick because it’s your deep, undeniable sexual truth. You suck dick because you want to blow up your life. You want the guilt. You want the chaos. You want the punishment.

Because there’s a double bind buried so deep in your mind, convincing you at your core that you’re a worthless piece of shit who doesn’t deserve anything good.

You fantasize about walking into the fire, because it’s easier than facing the treadmill you’re on — that dull, meaningless loop of a life built on decades of cowardly choices.

And now you’re here asking me: “Is it okay?”
You don’t want an answer. You want an excuse.

You want permission to keep spiraling because maybe if you hit rock bottom hard enough, you’ll wake up. But here’s the truth: you won’t. You’ll just keep digging, one self-destructive act at a time, telling yourself it’s sexual exploration or freedom when it’s really nothing but escape.

It’s self-sabotage wearing a cheap mask of kink.

Here’s your mirror:

• Leaving your wife? You’re too gutless to do it, so you half-ass your way into affairs and then feel just guilty enough to keep you tied to your treadmill of misery.
• “Is it okay I suck dick?” The real question is: Why are you so desperate to punish yourself for your life’s emptiness?
• You think breaking the rules makes you free? It doesn’t. It makes you predictable. Because the most unoriginal act in the world is blowing up your life when you hate yourself too much to fix it.

Here’s the thing about people like you: you’re not sexual. You’re self-destructive. You’ve confused punishment for pleasure. You don’t need someone to pat you on the head and say, “It’s okay, sweetie, just be yourself.”

You need someone to tell you: STOP.

Stop blowing up your life and pretending it’s an awakening. Stop asking for validation when what you really want is someone to say, “You’re a mess, and it’s time to grow the fuck up.”

Sexuality is not a weapon to punish yourself for a life you hate.
If you want freedom, then earn it. Face the wreckage you’ve created. Make a choice to change instead of performing another cheap act of destruction.

Otherwise, stop asking me your stupid questions.

If you want to talk about dark shit and sexualize it — some of us have actually lived that reality, or engage in it now with trusting, consenting adults who’ve faced their demons and done the self-work. We don’t need your glorified fantasies or performative idolization. Trust me, it’s not a place you want to find yourself.

This is key to understanding the legalities around BDSM: if you’re beaten, you can later go to the police and report it. That domme? She’s now facing a felony charge. That’s why you need laws that protect you. Do it by the book, or the book will get thrown at you.

Doc