“The Psychology of MINE!”

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.” — Brené Brown.

In the pursuit of understanding our identity, the concept of ownership plays a profoundly significant role. It is an emphatic assertion of personal autonomy, accountability, and a reflection of our deeply ingrained values and beliefs. Echoing the sentiments of existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, “Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself.”

When we assert ‘ownership’ over ourselves, we are accepting that our actions, our decisions, and their ensuing consequences are fundamentally and uniquely “MINE.”

My mentor, Dr. John La Tourette PhD, would often provide a compelling illustration of this principle. He encouraged us to extend our hands out in front of us and repeatedly affirm, “MINE, MINE, MINE.” This simple act became a potent, tactile affirmation of selfhood and accountability, a mantra encapsulating the assertion of personal autonomy.

One could witness this primal sense of ‘MINE’ in children who are reluctant to share their toys. It is not merely a stubborn refusal to share; rather, it is their first, rudimentary assertion of selfhood and autonomy. They are learning the boundaries of personal possession and beginning to navigate the complex social dynamics of sharing. These small acts of clutching a toy close and declaring ‘MINE’ can be seen as the initial steps towards understanding personal ownership, a concept that will evolve and mature along with them.

This vision of ‘ownership’ finds its roots in existentialist philosophy. Friedrich Nietzsche once stated, “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

Accepting ownership and accountability provides the groundwork for self-reliance, resilience, and integrity. When we assert our experiences as “MINE,” we acknowledge that our personal history, regardless of its ups and downs, enhances our uniqueness and promotes personal growth.

Renowned thinker Ralph Waldo Emerson emphasized this notion in his essay, “Self-Reliance,” declaring that, “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.”

Yet, asserting ownership over ourselves isn’t solely about celebrating our achievements; it’s about accepting our failures too. Psychologist Albert Ellis succinctly stated, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own…You realize that you control your own destiny.”

In essence, “MINE” is more than a mantra; it’s a recognition of the profound power and responsibility we possess over our lives. It’s the understanding that we are the chief architects of our own narratives and that every action we take, every decision we make, is a deliberate brushstroke on the canvas of our lives.

Imagine the surge of protectiveness that arises when something deeply cherished is threatened, that instinctive tug at your core to shield and defend what you inherently possess. Now, harness this potent emotion and let it guide your future, not merely in defense of what you already have, but as a driving force towards the things you genuinely desire.

Project this profound sense of ownership, this assertive declaration of ‘MINE,’ into your aspirations, fueling your pursuit of goals with the same impassioned fervor.

That same instinctive urge to protect what is ‘MINE,’ when channeled towards your aspirations, can catalyze profound changes in your life.

The world is full of those who will endeavor to dilute your sense of ownership, asserting that you must share what is fundamentally yours. But heed not these voices, for they do not comprehend your unique journey. Like well-intentioned but misguided parents, they may advocate for sharing without understanding the intrinsic value of claiming ‘MINE.’

Your dreams, aspirations, and the path you carve towards them are unequivocally, unapologetically yours.