Useless Taint

I once had a slave show up to me, looking like he’d just gone through a battle with 20 ferocious women who used his dick as a speed bag. By the time he got to me, his poor limp noodle was so useless, it was practically auditioning for a retirement home. I glanced at it, sighed deeply, and said, “Look, buddy… I’m retiring. And honestly, your dick should be too.”

I’ve been whining and moaning about retiring for six years, and this is the last slave you send my way? Really? Thanks, Satan. Love the parting gift.

Real generous with the bonus here. It’s like trying to shove one of those glitter-filled snake toys from the fair up your ass — slippery, floppy, and completely useless for the job.

Useless in the dictionary? You’ll find Peter. Just a flap of skin hanging out between the taint and nowhere: Peter.

Doc