Using the Swish Pattern to Forget an Ex and Move On

Today, we’re diving into the Swish Pattern — a powerful NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) technique that will help you forget an incompatible lover and reclaim your power. Holding onto past relationships can keep you tethered to a cycle of regret and sorrow. True freedom comes from cutting these ties and allowing yourself to experience joy, passion, and peace once more.

Step 1: Identify the Trigger

First, identify a specific thought, image, or memory of the person you want to forget. It might be the mental picture of their face, a place you associate with them, or a recurring thought that pulls you back.

Step 2: Create a Positive Replacement Image

Now, visualize a bright, compelling image of your future where you are radiantly happy, completely content, and utterly free from any emotional attachment to this person. Make this image vivid and detailed — see yourself thriving, enjoying life, and exuding confidence.

Step 3: Perform the Swish

1. Visualize the Unwanted Image: Start by vividly imagining the unwanted image or thought of the person. Make it as detailed as possible.
2. Introduce the Positive Image: Now, bring up the positive replacement image in the background, making it small and dim at first.
3. Swish: Quickly “swish” the images by making the positive image larger and brighter while simultaneously shrinking and fading the unwanted image. Do this rapidly, in a matter of seconds.
4. Repeat: Repeat the swish process several times (at least 5–7 times), each time making the positive image more vivid and the unwanted image more faded and distant.

Step 4: Reinforce the Change

After completing the Swish Pattern, think about the original trigger — the thought or image of the person. Notice how the new positive image now automatically comes to mind instead of the unwanted one.

Each relationship, no matter how challenging, is a stepping stone in your journey. Moving on helps you assimilate the lessons and grow stronger, more self-aware, and more resilient.

For years, I found myself trapped in a physically abusive relationship. It was a vicious cycle — I would leave, only to return again and again. Each time I went back, the abuse intensified into violence.

Subtle remarks about my body led me down the dark path of anorexia to feel perfect and wanted by him, while his financial control left me in a constant state of poverty. This was marriage?

One day, I made the courageous decision to pack my belongings and leave. I moved to a different town, determined to reclaim my life and start anew. It took me a year before I could muster the strength to contact him again, and by then, I had begun to heal.

During this tumultuous time, something remarkable happened. I discovered Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). As I delved into its teachings, I realized the immense potential it held for changing my life.