What Men Want — and Why Women Should Stop Giving It to Them
For much of my life, I’ve been reduced to an object — a body, a vessel, a means to fulfill male pleasure. As women, we’re conditioned to seek external validation, to feel worthy only when we’re desired. At first, it’s intoxicating.
I’ve studied fantasies, sexuality, and psychology at a PhD level, delving deep into the complexities of human behavior and relationships. Yet here I am, still confronted daily with stories of femicides, rising divorce rates, and men breaking promises of monogamy through betrayal and infidelity.
But as you grow older, you realize the hollowness of it. The men who once made you feel wanted are rarely there when it truly matters — when you’re sick, when you need help reaching the top shelf because you’re too short, when your car breaks down in the middle of the night, or when you’re freezing on a cold winter’s night and just want someone to hold.
These moments have nothing to do with sex, yet they reveal a deeper truth: most men lack the emotional intelligence to navigate true intimacy. Unlike women, who are often socialized to regulate and process complex emotions, many men remain trapped in a limited emotional range. Stoicism, as it’s often misinterpreted, teaches them to detach from their feelings, leaving anger, arousal, and hunger as their primary outlets — basic needs and desires, devoid of deeper emotional depth.
They crave bodies, not connection.
I’ve worked with thousands of men, and time and again, I’ve seen their selfishness — how unaware they are of the ways they take and take, leaving women depleted, discarded, unseen.
Female sexuality is molded by a society that prioritizes male desire. From the way we’re taught to present ourselves to the way intimacy is portrayed, everything centers on what men want.
Our own desires, our complex, multifaceted needs, are either erased or reshaped to fit their fantasies. It’s exhausting, disheartening, and enraging to live in a world where your worth is tied to someone else’s fleeting gratification.
This isn’t a personal vendetta — it’s a systemic issue. And yet, it is deeply personal. I’ve spent years peeling back the layers of this objectification, and the anger doesn’t fade.
It sharpens. I’m tired of being treated as disposable. I’m tired of women’s sexuality being weaponized against us. I’m tired of the emotional labor we’re forced to shoulder, of carrying the weight of intimacy for two.
To those who might dismiss this as bitterness or man-hating: reflect. What would the world look like if men were taught to give as much as they take? If they learned to see women not as vessels, but as partners? If they truly understood the depth of connection that can come from equality, vulnerability, and mutual care? Until then, the rage of women will not be silenced. And it shouldn’t be.
Kali DuBois
